In a way, I felt like it's for my own development of character. I feel like it's selfish to lead you on when I already have lost feelings. What I'm feeling right now is just regret. I have to accept that, sometimes that's just what its meant to do. 

On giving up love. I seriously thought of that but then I read back my journey when I was in love with another person and the person before that. I wrote about them like they paint my sky rainbows, like their farts smells of fresh flowers ( U get what I mean ) I write greatly about them and how they are as a person that inspires me. I think I will never be able to give that up. 

After all, I do like to romanticise ever single bit of my life. 

I'll accept it. The pain I had to deal, the cries I have to pour and the deep regret longing in my brain. I'll endure it until my brain form a wall that refrained me from remembering.